What to Wear to a Wake: Seasonal and Cultural Clothing Tips for Funeral

Attending a wake can be a delicate experience, and knowing what to wear to a wake is an important part of showing respect to the deceased and their family. While a wake is generally less formal than a funeral, it still requires appropriate attire that communicates sympathy, respect, and decorum. This guide will help you navigate wardrobe choices for men and women, across different seasons, and for various types of wakes, ensuring you dress thoughtfully and respectfully.

Wake vs. Funeral Attire

A wake, also known as a viewing or visitation, is typically a gathering where friends and family pay their respects before the funeral. The attire is generally less formal than a funeral, but still conservative. Unlike casual social gatherings, wakes require subdued colors, modest styles, and minimal flashiness.

• Funeral: Usually more formal, may involve suits and full dress attire

• Wake: Conservative, respectful, but slightly less strict than funeral attire

The key is to prioritize respect and discretion while dressing appropriately.

General Guidelines for Wake Attire

Regardless of gender, there are universal rules for choosing what to wear to a wake:

• Colors: Stick to dark, neutral, or muted tones. Black is traditional, but navy, gray, deep brown, and dark green are also appropriate.

• Patterns: Avoid loud patterns or flashy prints. Subtle stripes or small polka dots are acceptable.

• Fit: Clothes should be neat, clean, and modest, not overly tight, revealing, or casual.

• Footwear: Closed-toe shoes are preferred. Avoid sneakers, flip-flops, or overly casual sandals.

• Accessories: Keep accessories minimal and understated. Avoid flashy jewelry or hats (unless required by cultural or religious practices).

What to Wear to a Wake: For Men

Men’s wake attire should lean toward classic and understated. Here’s a breakdown:

 Traditional Options

• Suit: Dark-colored suit in black, navy, or gray

• Shirt: White, light gray, or muted colors

• Tie: Simple, conservative patterns or solid colors

• Shoes: Black or brown dress shoes

• Extras: Belt matching shoes, optional wristwatch, avoid flashy cufflinks

Semi-Formal Options

For a more relaxed wake or informal setting:

• Blazer or sports jacket with dress pants

• Button-down shirt in neutral colors

• Dark jeans or chinos may be acceptable if the wake is casual

• Minimal accessories to maintain a respectful look

Seasonal Adjustments

• Summer: Lightweight dress shirt, dark chinos, loafers

• Winter: Wool blazer, overcoat, scarf, and gloves in muted tones

• Rainy Weather: Waterproof shoes, umbrella in neutral color

What to Wear to a Wake: For Women

Women have more flexibility but should still maintain modesty and respectfulness.

Traditional Options

• Dresses or skirts: Knee-length or longer, in dark or muted colors

• Tops: Simple blouses or sweaters without excessive embellishments

• Shoes: Closed-toe flats, low heels, or conservative pumps

• Accessories: Minimal jewelry, small handbag, avoid hats unless cultural norms require

 Pants and Trousers

• Dark-colored trousers or slacks with a modest blouse

• Tailored pantsuits in neutral colors

• Avoid bright colors, ripped jeans, or casual shorts

Seasonal Considerations

• Summer: Light fabrics in navy, gray, or black; avoid short skirts

• Winter: Sweaters, long coats, scarves in muted tones

• Rainy Weather: Closed shoes, umbrella, and waterproof outerwear

Appropriate Colors to Wear to a Wake

Color choice is critical in communicating respect and empathy:

• Black: Traditional and safest option

• Gray or Charcoal: Modern and understated alternative

• Navy Blue: Conservative and professional

• Deep Brown or Forest Green: Earthy and respectful, especially in informal settings

• Avoid: Bright colors like red, orange, neon shades, or flashy metallics

Tip: If unsure, default to black or dark navy, as it is universally accepted.

Casual vs. Formal Wakes

Casual Wakes

Some wakes may be informal or at-home gatherings. Guidelines:

• Dark jeans or slacks

• Simple blouse or button-up shirt

• Conservative, clean footwear

• Avoid athletic wear or casual sandals

Formal Wakes

• Suit or dress

• Conservative tie or scarf

• Modest dress length

• Polished, closed-toe shoes

Additional Considerations

Cultural or Religious Norms

Some wakes may follow specific cultural or religious practices, which could influence attire:

• Catholic wakes: Modest, dark clothing; women may wear head coverings in some parishes

• Jewish wakes: Conservative, dark clothing; men often wear a kippah

• Other traditions: Follow guidance from family or community if unsure

Accessories and Makeup

• Keep accessories minimal

• Avoid heavy or flashy makeup

• Simple hairstyles are appropriate

Weather and Location

• Outdoor wakes: consider raincoats, umbrellas, or hats in neutral tones

• Summer wakes: light fabrics, breathable materials, but still conservative

• Winter wakes: layered outfits in dark colors

What Not to Wear to a Wake

Certain clothing choices are generally considered disrespectful at wakes:

• Bright, flashy colors or neon clothing

• Athletic wear, ripped jeans, or casual shorts

• Revealing outfits or plunging necklines

• Loud prints or slogans on shirts

• Excessive jewelry or large, flashy accessories

Dressing Etiquette for Men and Women

• Respect first: Prioritize modesty and appropriateness over fashion

• Comfort: You may be standing for long periods; wear comfortable yet formal shoes

• Neutral tones: Stick to colors that convey solemnity and respect

• Blend in: The focus should be on the deceased, not your outfit

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I wear dark gray pants to a wake?

Yes, dark gray is acceptable and respectful, especially when paired with a conservative top or shirt.

What do men wear to a summer wake?

Lightweight dress shirts, chinos or dark trousers, and closed-toe shoes. Avoid bright colors or short sleeves that look too casual.

What do women wear to a wake in the summer?

Knee-length dark dresses, muted blouses with slacks, light sweaters, or modest skirts. Choose breathable fabrics, but avoid bright or flashy colors.

What about casual wakes?

Dark jeans or chinos with a button-down shirt or simple blouse is often acceptable for casual wakes. Avoid sneakers or sandals unless explicitly permitted.

Summary

When attending a wake, your attire communicates respect for the deceased and their family. The key points:

• Stick to dark, neutral, or muted colors

• Men: Suits, dress shirts, ties, conservative shoes

• Women: Dresses, skirts, pantsuits, or slacks in dark tones

• Avoid: Casual, flashy, or revealing clothing

• Adjust for season and formality: Lightweight fabrics for summer, layers for winter, more formal outfits for formal wakes

By following these guidelines, you ensure that your attire is appropriate, respectful, and considerate for such a solemn occasion.